Here’s a funny story: I’m on the bike (take note of this detail as you picture the situation) going to school last Wednesday. I had left the school to run an errand and was returning for class at 4 PM, so traffic was heavy. I pulled up to the stoplight at the campus entrance. The light was red and there was only one car in front of me. We were in the right-hand turning lane, and the lane next to us was full. At that time, there wasn’t anyone directly behind me in my lane (just the thousands of cars in front, beside, and behind me in the lane to my left, not to mention all the cars and pedestrians all around), so it was just me and that one car in front of me in my lane, and he was at a dead stop. I soon realized this guy wasn’t going to turn on red (even though he could AND SHOULD). There were no pedestrians or turning cars holding him up, he was just sitting there. I’m thinking, well, I’m on a bike (a cool one at that), I could squeeze past him next to the curb. The only problem is that I STILL don’t have a driver’s license, so I elect to not do this in case a cop is behind me or something and wants to pick a fight. So I just wait for it to turn green. Well it finally changes to a green arrow, and guess what… this guy is not paying one bit of attention, not one bit! So now I’m the one ready to pick the fight. We both look ridiculous just sitting there. The lane next to us is still red, so they’re all just watching the spectacle. Here’s where my biggest problem comes in… You should know how cool my bike is, and you should know how cool I am on it. Together we just demand attention and, most importantly, authority. So you see why I look so stupid; I’m just sitting there quietly while the guy in front controls the whole ridiculous situation! I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking I should just honk at the guy! Lay on that thing! Right? Well maybe you’re thinking this because you’ve never pushed the horn button on a sportbike. Listen, if you give in to the pressure, if you can’t resist for any reason pushing that little button, then you can be sure that as soon as you do, you will have instantly changed people’s thoughts from “Wow! I want to be that guy!” to “Wow. That did not just happen.” Still to this day I can’t figure out why motorcycle manufacturers thought it was a good idea to put the gayest horns on these bikes. It must be because they want to stay close to their roots. You know, the little Japanese guy that rides his little bicycle through town beeping at everyone. That’s my best guess. So back to the story. So I certainly realize I’m in a predicament. How can I demonstrate the unruly authority that I portray without going to jail? There’s a lot at stake here. So I do something unthinkable; something truly cool…
Since I don’t have time to finish my story right now, let’s hear what you guys think are my best options. And better yet, let’s have some guesses on what you think I actually did. So put yourself in my situation and think of options of demonstrating true authority and coolness to get back in control and not be the wimp or the tough guy that gets arrested. Then take your guesses on what really happened. Then I’ll tell you what happened so you can rate my coolness.
Doms, i've already rated your coolnes many times before. on a scale from 1 to 10, you're an 11 baby.
but, i just don't understand what the big deal is. it's called being patient. no sense in doing something to the poor dude. what if his wife just died and he's driving home from the hospital and is lost in thought. do you really want to the be guy that honks at him?
since you're on the bike, why don't you just pull to the side of him a little bit and tap on the back of his car. no big deal.
i really can't wait to hear what you did though. it must be cool to give a big blog entry about it.
Ok, Doms first off let me tell you how crazy you are. You had the folks in my office rolling, here is what one lady said,
"You have to much time on your hands to be sooooooo worried about turning a corner at a light. Find something more meaningful in your life besides TRYING to be cool. And another thing at the age of 28 grow up……..."
That was a direct quote, (actually typed)
Secondly, you should've just beeped the horn, no horns are manly unless you are driving a Mac rig. I would beep people all the time around here, no worries. Or if you had some good pipes you can just hit 10 on the tach and let them know with some reverberations. : )
My guess is that you did a wheelie and nudge the guys bumper with your wheel, or more likely is that you did a burnout.
The wheelie would be rated at a 7/10 for coolness because of the tight space, but you'd probably end up in jail and i doubt you'd be writing the post.
The burnout would be a 9/10 for coolness but 1/10 for smarts. Burnouts are cool but a waste of a tire, unless you've got a good drop to drop 200 on a tire, stupid.
And last question.....did you really think there was a lot at stake? LOL
Okay tuffy, tell your friend that natural coolness can only take you so far, just like being naturally smart. You may be naturally smart, but you'll never make it to the top of your class unless you work at it. Too bad your friend can't relate to this...
And I feel so sorry for you tuffy, always riding around beeping at everyone. You think only a big 18-wheeler has a strong horn because you drive a dodge. There aren't too many tough things on a dodge, let alone the horn. My ford has a beastly horn. You can really let people have it when the time is right.
Here's the thing, I totally agree that some good pipes should replace the horn on these bikes. The problem is that I don't have the pipes. If I rev my stock pipes, I'll only be two steps above the guy that beeps the horn (namely tuffy). Not that these pipes can't get attention, it's just that you'll only look like you're trying to be cool (tuffy's friend can completely relate to that).
And a burn out is a horrible idea! You may throw a rock on the car behind you... not cool. Not to mention that your clutch will also suffer along with the tires.
Doms... You are like a child starving for attention ... my guess is that you rolled up beside the guy sitting in the car and asked him what seemed to be the problem... and then proceeded to have an in depth life conversation in which you chatted about your inner most fears and desires... meanwhile allowing traffic to back up for miles, until you both finally decided to hug it out and have a good cry together and then went on your way .... lets hear the real story haha
Well Michael, that's quite a predicament. So in light of this situation and the limits you've placed on my creativity, I would do one of two things... 1) I'd say to hell with jail and go around this guy (True badasses / cool guys, aren't afraid of jail) 2) This guy's feelings be damned, you have places to go (and need to get there FAST, esp on that bike), So, remove your shoe and throw it at his back window, get his attention, get his ass in gear, pick up ur shoe, and get on w/ your day. Conflict resolved.
I'd also like to make everyone aware of how giddy Michael is acting about this blog post. Sending us the post in an email form, then adding us to the blog, and now, forcing us to comment, or he wont tell us the resolution to this conflict. Only knowing him for a few weeks, I can already tell that this is out-of-character. So everyone... please, for the love of God...comment. Michael, please grant us closure. Thank You
I should note that in one fell swoop, brett has officially used up the PG-13 yearly limit. I didn't think to tell the new guys that we must choose our language wisely on this blog.
And nice analysis of my character there brett. Listen ladies, this is for YOU! This is a real life situation. You get to test yourself by asking yourself, am I man enough? Am I good enough? Could I handle such a situation? How would my choices measure up to the best - DOMS? You should all be thanking me for giving you a window into a life of danger without having to stick your own necks out there.
And back to tuffy's friend, the "lady in the office." She must be one of those gals that NEVER looks at the guy on the motorcycle. Sadly, guys buy motorcycles to get girls' attention, but 9.9 out of ten girls do not look. However, this lady should note that the opposite is true for guys. Thus another reason why she doesn't understand what it means to be cool on a bike. Be sure and let her know her follies.
Yep, she said that only Harleys are cool and crotch rockets are gays.
So are you saying all guys look at guys on motorcycles or you just have a thing for guys with power between your leg....something you want to tell us??
I think Hank is probably right, and i definitely started laughing in my office out loud when i read the "shared your fears and desires together before having a deep cry" because I can actually see that happening. I think two necessary questions to ask is how many NoS drinks did you have that day? and Where were you coming from? I know that if I was coming from electric blue or someplace cool I would be much more likely to just wait and see what happens but if I was coming from the dentist or wife I would probably be more of a jerk. My guess is you got off the bike, put your pecker against his window and then laughed childishly as you ran back to your bike...
Matt... crude but effective I'm sure, and definitely funny. You all may be surprised to hear that this is not what I did either.
Tuffy, I'm saying 99% of the guys do look, and 99% of the girls don't. If I were on a harley, I could've just sat there and still been cool. That's your job on a harley, act like you don't even know what's going on in the first place. For all the people around you know, you're not aware that the light is green either, and you don't care. But I wasn't on a harley. And I'm sure I could broaden your friend's horizons for sportbikes the second she swings her leg over and puts her arms around me for the ride of her life...
And scam, this guy needed to be chastised for his transgressions. When you are the first one in line at a light, you have a responsibility. If you can't handle it, then you shouldn't have a license. Don't feel sorry for this guy. He used up his "ignorant-buffer" when he didn't turn on red, then he used up his "distracted-buffer" when the first 5 seconds passed after the green arrow. This guy was really over the top, and action needed to be taken.
I'd really like to wait for seth, courtenay, shawn and jake's input before I give anything away. Maybe text seth to get him going or something. I wouldn't want anyone to miss this opportunity.
My guess: you stood up on your bike, blasted some 80's hair metal on your bike's undoubtedly supped up stereo system, took off your helmet, ran your fingers through your hair, put up the quintessential heavy metal rocker hands, and started head banging for the ladies.
Or maybe you just sheepishly waited. I'm betting the guy fell asleep.
Here are my top options. The criterion for ordering includes both prediction for efficacy and minimized trauma to any form of "manliness"
1. You work discreetly: veer to the left, behind the drivers left mirror, and flash the high beams. Inconspicuous, yet effective (even in the daylight sometimes). Furthermore, no one will likely perceive your actions or think anything of them. A logical response to the given situation
2. You work the route of principle and confidence. Put your kick stand down, walk calmly towards the drivers window (with shoulders back and a closed yet relaxed fist), knock on the window, and get the the problem resolved. Odds are, you won't have to say a word, and if you do, you are automatically the voice of reason, which makes him feel ridiculous and makes you look reasonable, logical, and principled, which are the fundamentals of 10/10 level manliness.
If option #1 and #2 do not suffice, Take the hot babe riding on back of the bike out, and give the man a visual stimulus of higher responsive prompting (no inappropriate dealings necessary, just some discreet event-related potentials that WILL elicit a repose and thus return from lala land). Good looking girls (especially wives) can work miracles. I know.
No one was interested in the fantasy football except for Seth and it would be really hard to do with just me and Seth. I'm in two other leagues. It was a nail biter last night as i squeaked out a come from behind victory with Phillip Rivers putting up big points again! Boooyaah
Oh and scam, congrats on passing the bar and it is nice to have to hear about your comings and goings from other people. So much for the Cheer's bar-room
I think Doms voided all coolness by blogging about it. Maybe he voided all coolness by caring about others perceptions of his coolness. Or maybe it was just the overuse of the term coolness. However you score it Doms is definantly a few cold cuts short of a Classic Italian BMT (Happy Birthday Jonycakes)
C'mon Doms... be a polite boy and don't keep the people waiting any longer.
And Scam... 11 out of 10. I thought you were the resident expert when it came to "The Cool". I might have to rethink that one.
I know you girls may not agree, but I think everyone has waited long enough for the conclusion of my story. So without further ado, I’m just sitting there behind some dude that is straight up oblivious to the world around him. I can see the back of his head, and he’s doing absolutely nothing… nothing except testing me. In situations like this, there’s no time to think. You must act, and you must act immediately and efficiently or you die (well your coolness dies anyway). So that’s what I did, I took action. And thanks to my natural tendencies, my coolness not only survived intact, but it was enhanced… greatly.
So what I did to get back in control in order to lead this country with true coolness was first show my frustration with my arms. You know, by throwing ‘em up to let everyone know that that was unacceptable, but also to let everyone know that it wasn’t over. That I hadn’t been beaten. I then leaned over a little, you know, coooooool like, and I knocked on the window of the car next to me. When the window rolled down, it was this older dude in the driver’s seat. I say, “Can you believe this guy,” as I motion with my arms in a way that clearly let’s everyone know that I’m talking about the car in front of me. I then say, “Why don’t you give him a honk.” The guy thinks I’m joking and he just laughs, but I say, “Go ahead, honk at him,” as I throw my hand forward in a powerful gesture. That’s when the dude does it; he blasts his horn in about three short, but aggressive intervals. It was like we jumpstarted the guy. He popped up, looked around, saw the green arrow and sputtered off. I thanked my recruit and then cruised through my wide-open corner. Now tell me, is that cool or what.
Sweet mary Moses you are kidding right? If I was behind you I would think that your horn was broken for you to take the time to knock on someones window! The people around you that day were truly graced with considerable coolness
Keep in mind, I knew what it took to be cool that day, and beeping my own little horn was not the way. I accomplished all the goals in an innovative way and I controlled crowd. And I doubt anyone thought my horn was broken, given the absolute spiffiness of my bike. Plus, keep in mind that a man in the position you described, stuck behind someone and without a horn, would look pretty desperate, so desperate that he'd look around asking for help. But that didn't happen. Instead it was a powerful force working the crowd, and everyone knew it. The image was not a desperate man asking for someone, anyone, to honk their horn. No, it was a guy on a cool motorcycle practically leaning on the window ledge of the car next to him, chatting it up and instructing in a way as if he didn't want to be bothered. Almost like he was giving a life lesson to driver of the car next him. Yeah, that's what it was like. No one left the scene that day thinking golly-gee wilikers, that poor motorcyclist was stuck with no horn and no options. Good thing that nice man next him was able to beep his horn for him to alert that young man blocking the road.
Was this guy who succumbed to your powers turning right also? He probably couldn't understand you and was bewildered that somone would ask him to honk his horn. If someone asked me that, my first question would be, "is yours broke?" LOL
Gracious tuffy. Let's put all the pieces together to deduce the answer to your question. 1) "We were in the right-hand turning lane, and the lane next to us was full." 2)"...there wasn’t anyone directly behind me in my lane..." 3) "The lane next to us is still red, so they’re all just watching the spectacle." 4) "I then leaned over a little...and I knocked on the window of the car next to me." 5) "...a guy on a cool motorcycle practically leaning on the window ledge of the car next to him...," and 6) "Almost like he was giving a life lesson to driver of the car next him."
So to answer tuffy's question, "Was this guy who succumbed to your powers turning right also?" I deduce from the six quotes above that the answer is no.
Done convinsing yourself? If so, here's my take. What you displayed was not coolness it was melodrama. Wild arm movements to express your conversation to the "crowd"... seriously? And you really think they cared to begin with? Sounds like not enough people were looking at you so you got uncomfortable. Also known as juvinile coolness. Do you really need the acceptance of others so desperatly? Are you only comfortable with who you are and what you are doing if you have the groups seal of approval on your actions? Just be yourself, the crowd be damned.
I think it would have been cool if you had just leaned over, talked to the guy and had him honk. And, if you had just told us. But, I guess you gotta' milk as much attention out of it as you can.
I call 'em how I see 'em. I think you would be happier if you didn't care so much about other people opinion of you. But it seem you consider anything but agreement with The Doms to be "hating".
Goodness gracious, funny stuff. And from those 6 points, i still couldn't tell if the guy was turning right other than you saying no at the end. You know, there are multiple turn lanes at times.
That being said, you definitely should've honked your horn. How cool do you think the guy thinks you are that was a few cars back who missed the light because you took to long to wave your arms and talk to some guy. I'd be so mad if i missed the light for that reason.
Yes tuffy, maybe some people were angered, but I'm sure they blamed the guy in front of me. On the other hand, as seth has demonstrated, people are haters of the cool. So it probably did make some people mad.
But you should have realized the guy wasn't turning simply because I said I had a green arrow and the lane next to me was still red. Not to mention that you've been there! You should know there is only one turn lane! Heck, it's only a two-lane road to get there in the first place!
If i'm behind someone who is also behind someone not going through a green light. I get mad at both of them. Yes it is the person's fault for not going. But it is also the other guy's fault for being a weenie and just taking it!
Wow tuffy! Did we create that kind of go-gettem attitude in you when we took your land all those years ago or what! You know we're sorry about that. We've been giving you tax money to kind of compensate for that you know.
i guess all of this really depends on your definition of "cool". because, as others have mentioned, it mostly seemed like your actions were dramatic and wasted alot of time. it would have been much more cool to just honk and go.
plus, i wasted two days waiting for your answer. what's cool about that?
the good part of all of this is that i can completely invision you throwing up your hands in frustration. it's a very Doms move.
There's one note I think is important. I don't think ANYONE ever got behind me in the turning lane. This was part of my problem because I knew no one else would honk. If anyone ever got in my lane, it was at the end of the show, so I didn't hold anyone up and waste their time.
Now, I'd like an apology from scam (and tuffy)(and tuffy's office lady).
I'm truely sorry I wasn't there to see the incedent go down. Woulda' been a laugh riot.
Also, Doms... you wasted your time and the time of those on the blog. So you need to apologize. Hows that for coincidence?
We could have been talking about McNasty's temporary hold on campaining to solve the economies problems and creates a plan for the bail out. If he ditches tonights debate, I'll be pissed.
What would you do?
49 comments:
Here’s a funny story: I’m on the bike (take note of this detail as you picture the situation) going to school last Wednesday. I had left the school to run an errand and was returning for class at 4 PM, so traffic was heavy. I pulled up to the stoplight at the campus entrance. The light was red and there was only one car in front of me. We were in the right-hand turning lane, and the lane next to us was full. At that time, there wasn’t anyone directly behind me in my lane (just the thousands of cars in front, beside, and behind me in the lane to my left, not to mention all the cars and pedestrians all around), so it was just me and that one car in front of me in my lane, and he was at a dead stop. I soon realized this guy wasn’t going to turn on red (even though he could AND SHOULD). There were no pedestrians or turning cars holding him up, he was just sitting there. I’m thinking, well, I’m on a bike (a cool one at that), I could squeeze past him next to the curb. The only problem is that I STILL don’t have a driver’s license, so I elect to not do this in case a cop is behind me or something and wants to pick a fight. So I just wait for it to turn green. Well it finally changes to a green arrow, and guess what… this guy is not paying one bit of attention, not one bit! So now I’m the one ready to pick the fight. We both look ridiculous just sitting there. The lane next to us is still red, so they’re all just watching the spectacle. Here’s where my biggest problem comes in… You should know how cool my bike is, and you should know how cool I am on it. Together we just demand attention and, most importantly, authority. So you see why I look so stupid; I’m just sitting there quietly while the guy in front controls the whole ridiculous situation! I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking I should just honk at the guy! Lay on that thing! Right? Well maybe you’re thinking this because you’ve never pushed the horn button on a sportbike. Listen, if you give in to the pressure, if you can’t resist for any reason pushing that little button, then you can be sure that as soon as you do, you will have instantly changed people’s thoughts from “Wow! I want to be that guy!” to “Wow. That did not just happen.” Still to this day I can’t figure out why motorcycle manufacturers thought it was a good idea to put the gayest horns on these bikes. It must be because they want to stay close to their roots. You know, the little Japanese guy that rides his little bicycle through town beeping at everyone. That’s my best guess. So back to the story. So I certainly realize I’m in a predicament. How can I demonstrate the unruly authority that I portray without going to jail? There’s a lot at stake here. So I do something unthinkable; something truly cool…
Since I don’t have time to finish my story right now, let’s hear what you guys think are my best options. And better yet, let’s have some guesses on what you think I actually did. So put yourself in my situation and think of options of demonstrating true authority and coolness to get back in control and not be the wimp or the tough guy that gets arrested. Then take your guesses on what really happened. Then I’ll tell you what happened so you can rate my coolness.
UPDATE: OLD BLOGGERS - New bloggers have been added to the blog, so we'll have to be more PC until we know what the status is.
I'll comment on Doms' craziness in a bit.
Doms, i've already rated your coolnes many times before. on a scale from 1 to 10, you're an 11 baby.
but, i just don't understand what the big deal is. it's called being patient. no sense in doing something to the poor dude. what if his wife just died and he's driving home from the hospital and is lost in thought. do you really want to the be guy that honks at him?
since you're on the bike, why don't you just pull to the side of him a little bit and tap on the back of his car. no big deal.
i really can't wait to hear what you did though. it must be cool to give a big blog entry about it.
I doubt we have to be too PC. We all know that this is just for fun and no one should be offended.
do we get the identity of these new bloggers, or are we left to defend a surprise attack?
Ok, Doms first off let me tell you how crazy you are. You had the folks in my office rolling, here is what one lady said,
"You have to much time on your hands to be sooooooo worried about turning a corner at a light. Find something more meaningful in your life besides TRYING to be cool. And another thing at the age of 28 grow up……..."
That was a direct quote, (actually typed)
Secondly, you should've just beeped the horn, no horns are manly unless you are driving a Mac rig. I would beep people all the time around here, no worries. Or if you had some good pipes you can just hit 10 on the tach and let them know with some reverberations. : )
My guess is that you did a wheelie and nudge the guys bumper with your wheel, or more likely is that you did a burnout.
The wheelie would be rated at a 7/10 for coolness because of the tight space, but you'd probably end up in jail and i doubt you'd be writing the post.
The burnout would be a 9/10 for coolness but 1/10 for smarts. Burnouts are cool but a waste of a tire, unless you've got a good drop to drop 200 on a tire, stupid.
And last question.....did you really think there was a lot at stake? LOL
New bloggers are 4 people from Dom's school and I added 1 guy from work here. You can check the peeps under the "permissions" tab under "settings"
Okay tuffy, tell your friend that natural coolness can only take you so far, just like being naturally smart. You may be naturally smart, but you'll never make it to the top of your class unless you work at it. Too bad your friend can't relate to this...
And I feel so sorry for you tuffy, always riding around beeping at everyone. You think only a big 18-wheeler has a strong horn because you drive a dodge. There aren't too many tough things on a dodge, let alone the horn. My ford has a beastly horn. You can really let people have it when the time is right.
Here's the thing, I totally agree that some good pipes should replace the horn on these bikes. The problem is that I don't have the pipes. If I rev my stock pipes, I'll only be two steps above the guy that beeps the horn (namely tuffy). Not that these pipes can't get attention, it's just that you'll only look like you're trying to be cool (tuffy's friend can completely relate to that).
And a burn out is a horrible idea! You may throw a rock on the car behind you... not cool. Not to mention that your clutch will also suffer along with the tires.
Doms... You are like a child starving for attention ... my guess is that you rolled up beside the guy sitting in the car and asked him what seemed to be the problem... and then proceeded to have an in depth life conversation in which you chatted about your inner most fears and desires... meanwhile allowing traffic to back up for miles, until you both finally decided to hug it out and have a good cry together and then went on your way .... lets hear the real story haha
Well Michael, that's quite a predicament. So in light of this situation and the limits you've placed on my creativity, I would do one of two things... 1) I'd say to hell with jail and go around this guy (True badasses / cool guys, aren't afraid of jail) 2) This guy's feelings be damned, you have places to go (and need to get there FAST, esp on that bike), So, remove your shoe and throw it at his back window, get his attention, get his ass in gear, pick up ur shoe, and get on w/ your day. Conflict resolved.
I'd also like to make everyone aware of how giddy Michael is acting about this blog post. Sending us the post in an email form, then adding us to the blog, and now, forcing us to comment, or he wont tell us the resolution to this conflict. Only knowing him for a few weeks, I can already tell that this is out-of-character. So everyone... please, for the love of God...comment. Michael, please grant us closure. Thank You
I should note that in one fell swoop, brett has officially used up the PG-13 yearly limit. I didn't think to tell the new guys that we must choose our language wisely on this blog.
And nice analysis of my character there brett. Listen ladies, this is for YOU! This is a real life situation. You get to test yourself by asking yourself, am I man enough? Am I good enough? Could I handle such a situation? How would my choices measure up to the best - DOMS? You should all be thanking me for giving you a window into a life of danger without having to stick your own necks out there.
And back to tuffy's friend, the "lady in the office." She must be one of those gals that NEVER looks at the guy on the motorcycle. Sadly, guys buy motorcycles to get girls' attention, but 9.9 out of ten girls do not look. However, this lady should note that the opposite is true for guys. Thus another reason why she doesn't understand what it means to be cool on a bike. Be sure and let her know her follies.
Yep, she said that only Harleys are cool and crotch rockets are gays.
So are you saying all guys look at guys on motorcycles or you just have a thing for guys with power between your leg....something you want to tell us??
I think Hank is probably right, and i definitely started laughing in my office out loud when i read the "shared your fears and desires together before having a deep cry" because I can actually see that happening. I think two necessary questions to ask is how many NoS drinks did you have that day? and Where were you coming from? I know that if I was coming from electric blue or someplace cool I would be much more likely to just wait and see what happens but if I was coming from the dentist or wife I would probably be more of a jerk. My guess is you got off the bike, put your pecker against his window and then laughed childishly as you ran back to your bike...
Matt... crude but effective I'm sure, and definitely funny. You all may be surprised to hear that this is not what I did either.
Tuffy, I'm saying 99% of the guys do look, and 99% of the girls don't. If I were on a harley, I could've just sat there and still been cool. That's your job on a harley, act like you don't even know what's going on in the first place. For all the people around you know, you're not aware that the light is green either, and you don't care. But I wasn't on a harley. And I'm sure I could broaden your friend's horizons for sportbikes the second she swings her leg over and puts her arms around me for the ride of her life...
And scam, this guy needed to be chastised for his transgressions. When you are the first one in line at a light, you have a responsibility. If you can't handle it, then you shouldn't have a license. Don't feel sorry for this guy. He used up his "ignorant-buffer" when he didn't turn on red, then he used up his "distracted-buffer" when the first 5 seconds passed after the green arrow. This guy was really over the top, and action needed to be taken.
Quick to pull the old chastisement stick out of the bag huh. So want will happen to you cruising without a license?
Ok, since you are not spilling the beans, will you answer yes/no questions. (just like the 4th grade circle yes or no)?
I'd really like to wait for seth, courtenay, shawn and jake's input before I give anything away. Maybe text seth to get him going or something. I wouldn't want anyone to miss this opportunity.
My guess: you stood up on your bike, blasted some 80's hair metal on your bike's undoubtedly supped up stereo system, took off your helmet, ran your fingers through your hair, put up the quintessential heavy metal rocker hands, and started head banging for the ladies.
Or maybe you just sheepishly waited. I'm betting the guy fell asleep.
Oh man court, I think we just got a glimpse into your own fantasy. I'll keep that in mind if I ever see you on the road.
Here are my top options. The criterion for ordering includes both prediction for efficacy and minimized trauma to any form of "manliness"
1. You work discreetly: veer to the left, behind the drivers left mirror, and flash the high beams. Inconspicuous, yet effective (even in the daylight sometimes). Furthermore, no one will likely perceive your actions or think anything of them. A logical response to the given situation
2. You work the route of principle and confidence. Put your kick stand down, walk calmly towards the drivers window (with shoulders back and a closed yet relaxed fist), knock on the window, and get the the problem resolved. Odds are, you won't have to say a word, and if you do, you are automatically the voice of reason, which makes him feel ridiculous and makes you look reasonable, logical, and principled, which are the fundamentals of 10/10 level manliness.
If option #1 and #2 do not suffice, Take the hot babe riding on back of the bike out, and give the man a visual stimulus of higher responsive prompting (no inappropriate dealings necessary, just some discreet event-related potentials that WILL elicit a repose and thus return from lala land). Good looking girls (especially wives) can work miracles. I know.
so how many days is this story going to be dragged out? i couldn't sleep last night because i was just dying to find out what you michael did.
Yes, pins and needles here
you want to know what's not "cool". spending a day building up a story about something severely trivial and then not finishing it.
jeez, doms. let's at least move on if you are not going to fill us in.
did i miss out on some fantasy football or what? did you guys do a league without me?
No one was interested in the fantasy football except for Seth and it would be really hard to do with just me and Seth. I'm in two other leagues. It was a nail biter last night as i squeaked out a come from behind victory with Phillip Rivers putting up big points again! Boooyaah
Oh and scam, congrats on passing the bar and it is nice to have to hear about your comings and goings from other people. So much for the Cheer's bar-room
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIG JON STUD.
THE GOOD TIMES JUST KEEP ON ROLLIN'
thanks guess dome was to busy formulating his response to remember
I think Doms voided all coolness by blogging about it. Maybe he voided all coolness by caring about others perceptions of his coolness. Or maybe it was just the overuse of the term coolness. However you score it Doms is definantly a few cold cuts short of a Classic Italian BMT (Happy Birthday Jonycakes)
C'mon Doms... be a polite boy and don't keep the people waiting any longer.
And Scam... 11 out of 10. I thought you were the resident expert when it came to "The Cool". I might have to rethink that one.
Seriously Doms... lets hear it.
I know you girls may not agree, but I think everyone has waited long enough for the conclusion of my story. So without further ado, I’m just sitting there behind some dude that is straight up oblivious to the world around him. I can see the back of his head, and he’s doing absolutely nothing… nothing except testing me. In situations like this, there’s no time to think. You must act, and you must act immediately and efficiently or you die (well your coolness dies anyway). So that’s what I did, I took action. And thanks to my natural tendencies, my coolness not only survived intact, but it was enhanced… greatly.
So what I did to get back in control in order to lead this country with true coolness was first show my frustration with my arms. You know, by throwing ‘em up to let everyone know that that was unacceptable, but also to let everyone know that it wasn’t over. That I hadn’t been beaten. I then leaned over a little, you know, coooooool like, and I knocked on the window of the car next to me. When the window rolled down, it was this older dude in the driver’s seat. I say, “Can you believe this guy,” as I motion with my arms in a way that clearly let’s everyone know that I’m talking about the car in front of me. I then say, “Why don’t you give him a honk.” The guy thinks I’m joking and he just laughs, but I say, “Go ahead, honk at him,” as I throw my hand forward in a powerful gesture. That’s when the dude does it; he blasts his horn in about three short, but aggressive intervals. It was like we jumpstarted the guy. He popped up, looked around, saw the green arrow and sputtered off. I thanked my recruit and then cruised through my wide-open corner. Now tell me, is that cool or what.
Sweet mary Moses you are kidding right? If I was behind you I would think that your horn was broken for you to take the time to knock on someones window! The people around you that day were truly graced with considerable coolness
Keep in mind, I knew what it took to be cool that day, and beeping my own little horn was not the way. I accomplished all the goals in an innovative way and I controlled crowd. And I doubt anyone thought my horn was broken, given the absolute spiffiness of my bike. Plus, keep in mind that a man in the position you described, stuck behind someone and without a horn, would look pretty desperate, so desperate that he'd look around asking for help. But that didn't happen. Instead it was a powerful force working the crowd, and everyone knew it. The image was not a desperate man asking for someone, anyone, to honk their horn. No, it was a guy on a cool motorcycle practically leaning on the window ledge of the car next to him, chatting it up and instructing in a way as if he didn't want to be bothered. Almost like he was giving a life lesson to driver of the car next him. Yeah, that's what it was like. No one left the scene that day thinking golly-gee wilikers, that poor motorcyclist was stuck with no horn and no options. Good thing that nice man next him was able to beep his horn for him to alert that young man blocking the road.
Was this guy who succumbed to your powers turning right also? He probably couldn't understand you and was bewildered that somone would ask him to honk his horn. If someone asked me that, my first question would be, "is yours broke?" LOL
Gracious tuffy. Let's put all the pieces together to deduce the answer to your question. 1) "We were in the right-hand turning lane, and the lane next to us was full." 2)"...there wasn’t anyone directly behind me in my lane..." 3) "The lane next to us is still red, so they’re all just watching the spectacle." 4) "I then leaned over a little...and I knocked on the window of the car next to me."
5) "...a guy on a cool motorcycle practically leaning on the window ledge of the car next to him...," and 6) "Almost like he was giving a life lesson to driver of the car next him."
So to answer tuffy's question, "Was this guy who succumbed to your powers turning right also?" I deduce from the six quotes above that the answer is no.
"Yeah, that's what it was like."
Done convinsing yourself? If so, here's my take. What you displayed was not coolness it was melodrama. Wild arm movements to express your conversation to the "crowd"... seriously? And you really think they cared to begin with? Sounds like not enough people were looking at you so you got uncomfortable. Also known as juvinile coolness. Do you really need the acceptance of others so desperatly? Are you only comfortable with who you are and what you are doing if you have the groups seal of approval on your actions? Just be yourself, the crowd be damned.
I think it would have been cool if you had just leaned over, talked to the guy and had him honk. And, if you had just told us. But, I guess you gotta' milk as much attention out of it as you can.
Seth, most of us have screen names here on the blog. Something that relates to us in one way or another. Might I suggest your name be "a hater"
I call 'em how I see 'em. I think you would be happier if you didn't care so much about other people opinion of you. But it seem you consider anything but agreement with The Doms to be "hating".
Goodness gracious, funny stuff. And from those 6 points, i still couldn't tell if the guy was turning right other than you saying no at the end. You know, there are multiple turn lanes at times.
That being said, you definitely should've honked your horn. How cool do you think the guy thinks you are that was a few cars back who missed the light because you took to long to wave your arms and talk to some guy. I'd be so mad if i missed the light for that reason.
Yes tuffy, maybe some people were angered, but I'm sure they blamed the guy in front of me. On the other hand, as seth has demonstrated, people are haters of the cool. So it probably did make some people mad.
But you should have realized the guy wasn't turning simply because I said I had a green arrow and the lane next to me was still red. Not to mention that you've been there! You should know there is only one turn lane! Heck, it's only a two-lane road to get there in the first place!
If i'm behind someone who is also behind someone not going through a green light. I get mad at both of them. Yes it is the person's fault for not going. But it is also the other guy's fault for being a weenie and just taking it!
Wow tuffy! Did we create that kind of go-gettem attitude in you when we took your land all those years ago or what! You know we're sorry about that. We've been giving you tax money to kind of compensate for that you know.
LOL, wait....were you talking about someone supposedly supplementing me or did you confuse that with your mom and dad. KaPow! ROFLOL
Wait again... Yeah, you're right. My mom and dad have been paying those taxes I mentioned...
i guess all of this really depends on your definition of "cool". because, as others have mentioned, it mostly seemed like your actions were dramatic and wasted alot of time. it would have been much more cool to just honk and go.
plus, i wasted two days waiting for your answer. what's cool about that?
the good part of all of this is that i can completely invision you throwing up your hands in frustration. it's a very Doms move.
Well scam sure put it to me...
There's one note I think is important. I don't think ANYONE ever got behind me in the turning lane. This was part of my problem because I knew no one else would honk. If anyone ever got in my lane, it was at the end of the show, so I didn't hold anyone up and waste their time.
Now, I'd like an apology from scam (and tuffy)(and tuffy's office lady).
I've been paying those taxes too, so quit taking them Doms!
sorry Doms. i'll be more respectful next time. i haven't forgotten my promise to always defend you. i had a momentary relapse. truly sorry.
I'm truely sorry I wasn't there to see the incedent go down. Woulda' been a laugh riot.
Also, Doms... you wasted your time and the time of those on the blog. So you need to apologize. Hows that for coincidence?
We could have been talking about McNasty's temporary hold on campaining to solve the economies problems and creates a plan for the bail out. If he ditches tonights debate, I'll be pissed.
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